Lindemann Chimney Supply: Newsletter April 2008

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Lindemann Chimney Supply sells wholesale only to the chimney and hearth industry.

April 2008

How to Lose Customers

- Never talk to them. Don't return their calls, and when

you do, keep them on hold, and don't answer their emails. Tie them up in voice mail so that they never get to talk to a real person.

- If they persist in phoning in and demand to speak to a

person, make sure they get transferred so that they

have to repeat their problem again and again.

- Make them stay home and wait for you for hours.

- Tell your salespeople that it isn't important for them to

know about your products, and don't ever empower a

salesperson to solve a problem.

- Reward the salesperson's surly attitude by never correcting it.

- Don't trust customers, for they are never right. If they

tell you your product is defective, assume the problem is

their fault.

I believe the old adage that customers vote with their

feet. And with the cost of finding a new customer at 10

times the cost of retaining one, I don't think any of us

can afford that kind of fancy footwork. I also believe that

all of us, no matter the business or industry, must take a

hard look at customer service.

Still, some companies don't get it. They have hired the

wrong people, or gone to the self-service model of customer service. They have pinched pennies, convinced they are saving money, when in reality they are losing customers and may eventually lose the business. Meanwhile, they hang up a sign that says, "Customers Come First" and hope that their employees get it.

As with any good professional practice, good customer

service starts with a set of standards or values that the

company wants employees to embrace when serving

customers. This needs to be true even if you are the

whole company. Once the right person is in the right

position, managers can't just walk away, believing their

job is done. The best companies offer employees continued, focused training in customer service.

As we all try to remain competitive while retaining customers, we must remember that people, both the customer and the one serving the customer, are the most important ingredients in the business equation. By all means, we should use every technological advancement available to further our goals in this increasingly complicated world. But in our haste, we cannot forget the people part. As one infuriated blogger wrote, "Without customers, there is no business."

Marriage

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was

married for two years."

-Sam Kinison

"Some people ask the secret of our long

marriage.We take time to go to a restaurant

two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner,

soft music, and dancing. She goes

Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

-Henny Youngman

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

1.Whenever you're wrong, admit it,