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CURRENT NEWSLETTER
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Lindemann Chimney Supply sells wholesale only to the chimney and hearth industry.
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 June 2008
Americans with No abilities act
WASHINGTON , DC - Congress is considering sweeping
legislation which will provide new benefits for many
Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is
being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the
millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the
competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful
role for themselves in society," said a California senator.
"We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to
be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation,
employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a
small group of workers, simply because they have some
idea of what they are doing."
In a Capitol Hill press conference, the House and Senate
Majority Leaders pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal
Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately
74 % of postal employees lack any job skills, making this
agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of
Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of
nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales
(72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement
"warehouse" stores (65%). At the state government level,
the Department of Motor Vehicles also has a great record of
hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25
million "middle man" positions will be created, with
important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus
providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions
will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the
most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides
substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a
significant number of Persons of Inability into
middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to
small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one
clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA Act contains tough new measures to
make it more difficult to discriminate against the
Non-abled--banning, for example, discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any skills or experience
which relate to this job?"
"As a Non-Abled person, I can't be expected to keep up
with people who have something going for them," said
Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister
at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her lack of any
discernible job skills. "This new law should really help
people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and
millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light
at the end of the tunnel.
Said another senator: "As a Senator With No Abilities, I
believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy
ought to be extended to every American with no abilities.
It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every
American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with
some sort of space to take up in this great nation.
Management Tip
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up hers, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Management Lesson #2: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
with your underwriter, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
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